Dealing with stress

.....Continued from Stress relief

12. Deal with rejection. One powerful stress for most people is the feeling that no one cares. Maybe when you talk to your mother she only preaches to you. Maybe your husband or wife doesn't understand you or show respect for your feelings. Some researchers now tell us that the healthiest people are not necessarily those who had perfect childhoods but those who have made peace with their child-hoods. Maybe Mom was not nice and maybe Dad deserted the family. But healthy people don't stay angry and upset with the past. They accept what has happened, and they live in the present. They accept what their parents have done and can do for them. They build good friendships.

13. Get outside yourself. Sometimes we worry so much about our problems that we can't see anything else. It may help to take some cookies to the neighbor, to volunteer some time for a church or community group. You don't need a lot of extra demands. But taking a little time to help others can bring peace and satisfaction.

14. Be creative. Organize to solve problems. Look for good solutions. For example, if your children are always cross by dinnertime, maybe you could provide them with a healthy afternoon treat. Or you could eat dinner earlier.

 15. Get help if you need it. If you begin to feel overwhelmed – especially if you feel suicidal – get help! Go to your minister or mental health clinic. Everyone gets discouraged from time to time. But if those feelings become severe, get help.

16. Be patient. Some problems solve themselves with time. Eventually children outgrow diapers. They get past teething. The rain stops and the sun comes out. Work on the things you can change. Be patient with things that take time.

17. Be a friend to yourself. Don't expect yourself to be perfect. Stop doing things that tear you down. Notice the good things you do, and dwell on those things. Don't try to force yourself to be perfect or always kind. Treat your feelings with respect. Other people may sound bigger and stronger and more sure of themselves. But your feelings are important. Listen to them. Instead of dwelling on a mistake, learn what you can from it and then let the mistake go. Examine the expectations you have for yourself. Check to be sure they are reasonable.

18. Take control of your life. Helplessness is a terrible feeling. While you may not be able to change everything, notice the things you can change.

 19. Discover meaning in your life. Some people find meaning through religion, some through learning, some through service. Enjoy the contribution you make. See the purpose of people doing good.

20. Don't compare yourself to others. Your sister may be a wonderful cook. Your neighbor may be incredibly organized. But don't compare yourself to them. No one has every talent. Discover your talents. Enjoy them. Use them to help others.

21. Can you think of other ways you can deal with stress? If so, list them.

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