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The tiny hands that clasped your strong grip has
suddenly become independent. The small steps are more about strides. The
innocent smile shows more confidence. These are a few lines that
describe a ‘teenager’. The special term ‘teen’ is coined referring to an
age from thirteen and ending by nineteen. Puberty leads a child to
become confused about their independence and yet they seek an approval
by elders at all times. If this is confusing for them, then the parents
seem more perplexed. So let us sum it up by saying that it is a learning
phase for parents as well as a teenager.
Parents often say to their children, ‘I too was a teenager.’ But then
the situation, financial background and the pressures of the society
were different. Each time we deal with today’s children we talk about a
different era. Opportunities bring larger challenges and the biggest
challenge is to cope up with the demands of personal ambitions. Let us
admit that we expect a good human being from our children. As we are the
role models let us begin with a self change.
Teens are very much in a state of self conscious behavior. They love
celebrities, bikes, wind cheaters, make up and café joints. But they
have a secret desire to become a star, a successful career person,
complete their academic pursuits and also enjoy the derby or a soccer
program. So too many things make a teenager leaving the parent more
confused. Of all the basic necessities for a teenager ‘care’ is supreme.
They may be internal about their expressions as the child who brought
you a flower lying on the ground, wants to make a mural for your
anniversary.
Recognizing frustration in a teenager are sudden outbursts and
overwhelming behavior. Partly hormonal and partly due to an external
influence, teen kids surely seek attention. The attention seeking
behavior can come as a tantrum, slackness in eating and routine hygiene
or a constant need to widen their social circle. Surely the need to be
friends with a teen child is important but we must also pilot the
situation and be firm with rules.
Depression in teenagers comes as a very silent combination. This can be
normal behavior combined with hours of procrastination. Another clue is
spending hours in their room actually similar to confinement or also
extravagance or self abuse. These have to be dealt immediately with lot
of love and showing them a path to increase their self worth. Teens also
go through a phase of low self esteem. They are worried about the
whitehead or the mole on their face. They express the desire to do a red
hair extension and yet want to participate in the annual trip to a
pilgrimage.
To sum it up, teenage is just a progress towards a mature or balanced
personality with many of its advantages like learning new tricks and
coping with stress. A glorious phase too that kick starts optimism and
yet there is a longing to be recognized. Teen times are a wonderful time
to bond with youngsters and make the home a great place to live.
Probably like our own lives all over again. Author Parenting expert,
Kamakshi Gupte
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