My father was a simple man. My mother was a simple woman. You see the result standing in front of you, a simpleton. - Chic Murray
Not a shred of evidence exists in favor of the idea that life is serious. - Brendan Gill
I have made good judgements in the Past. I have made good judgements in the Future. - Dan Quayle
Every oak tree started out as a couple of nuts who decided to stand their ground.
The key to being a good manager is keeping the people who hate me away from those who are still undecided. - Casey Stengal
If we don't succeed, we run the risk of failure. - Dan Quayle
A diplomat is a man who says you have an open mind, instead of telling you that you have a hole in the head.
Before you get angry at someone, walk a mile in their shoes. Then you'll be a mile away and have their shoes.
Put your hand on a hot stove for a minute, and it seems like an hour. Sit with a pretty girl for an hour, and it seems like a minute. THAT'S relativity. - Albert Einstein
Fashion is a form of ugliness so intolerable that we have to alter it every six months. - Oscar Wilde
If confusion is the first step to knowledge, I must be a genius. - Larry Leissner
Every day I get up and look through the Forbes list of the richest people in America. If I'm not there, I go to work. - Robert Orben
When we got into office, the thing that surprised
me most was that things were as bad as we'd been
saying they were. - John F. Kennedy
Do what's right. Do it right. Do it right now. - Barry Forbes
Human beings are the only creatures on earth that allow their children to come back home. - Bill Cosby
I told my psychiatrist that everyone hates me. He said I was being ridiculous - everyone hasn't met me yet. - Rodney Dangerfield
We're going to move left and right at the same time. - Jerry Brown, Governor of California
When did I realize I was God? Well, I was praying and I suddenly realized I was talking to myself. - Peter O'Toole
Eternity is a terrible thought. I mean, where's it going to end?" - Tom Stoppard
Sometimes I go off into my own little world... But that's okay; they know me there
A pessimist sees the difficulty in every opportunity; an optimist sees the opportunity in every difficulty. - Winston Churchil
They say that behind every successful man stands a woman. Could it be that in front of that woman, stands a man who keeps getting in her way?
God heals and the doctor takes the fee. - Benjamin Franklin
A celebrity is a person who works hard to become well known, and then wears dark glasses to avoid being recognised - Fred Allen
Everything that goes up must come down. But there comes a time when not everything that's down can come up. - George Burns
 

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