Who is General Failure and why is he reading my hard disk?
Laughing stock: cattle with a sense of humor.
Borrow money from pessimists--they don't expect it back
I don't pray because I don't want to bore God. - Orson Welles
When on the ladder of success, don't let boys look up your dress!
The trouble with being poor is that it takes up all of your time. - Willem de Kooning
Never judge a book by its movie. - JW Eagan 
It's no accident that stressed spelled backwards is desserts.
Procrastination is the greatest laborsaving invention of all time
A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory
Warning: Dates in Calendar are closer than they appear.
You're slower than a herd of turtles stampeding through peanut butter
Before marriage, a man yearns for the woman he loves. After marriage, the 'Y' becomes silent
God made man and then rested. God made women and then no one rested
Aim for the stars. But first, aim for their bodyguards.
The shortest distance between two points is under construction... - Noelie Altito
I ain't sleeping. I'm just taking a good look at the insides of my eyelids. - Johathan Raban
The world is a tragedy to those who feel, but a comedy to those who think. - Horace Walpole
A balanced diet is a cookie in each hand. - unknown
A diplomat is one who thinks twice before saying nothing.
An apple a day keeps the doctor away, but an onion a day keeps everyone away. - Cassandra Chatfield
Hard work never hurt anyone, but why take the chance.
SHIN - A device for finding furniture in the dark.
Men don't care what's on TV.
They only care what else is on TV. - Jerry Seinfeld
Some people like my advice so much that they frame it upon the wall instead of using it. - Gordon R. Dickson
I am free of all prejudice. I hate everyone equally. - W. C. Fields
Drive carefully, 90% of people are accidents.
Isn't it strange? The same people who laugh at gypsy fortune tellers take economists seriously. - Cincinnati Enquirer
The difference between genius and insanity is that genius has its limits. - Albert Einstein
Anyone who goes to a psychiatrist ought to have his head examined. -
Samuel Goldwyn
If you think you're really influential - try ordering another man's dog.
When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him keep her. - Sacha Guitry
Nature gave us one tongue and two ears so we could hear twice as much as we speak. - Epictetus
Life is like a role of toilet paper; hopefully long and useful, but it always ends at the wrong moment. - Rudyh


 

.