The present world seems to be degenerating. Children a losing their innocence earlier than it was in previous generations. They are aware of all that is happening around them. Topics like sex, drugs, etc. that were a hush hush till years ago, is openly spoken about amongst twelve year olds. Crime amongst the youngsters seems commonplace. Why is all this happening?

The answer is simple. Today, parents have no time. After giving birth they feel that their responsibility begins and ends with earning money and paying the fees, buying essentials for their children. It is it actually the parents fault because they also have a pertinent question. How do we survive if we both don’t work? But, at the same time, do not forget that money cannot buy values and virtues that need to be inculcated in children.

Apart from values and virtues such as love, generosity, selflessness, respecting elders, trust and honesty, there are a number of other qualities that need to be taught to them. These include tolerance, acceptance, patience, politeness, sharing, awareness, etc. Also a child must be aware of their cultural background and heritage. Moral Science and Scripture study should be a part of their upbringing. They must learn to understand and speak their own mother tongue before any other language.

Apart from learning their own cultural background they must also be taught about other cultures which will bring about within them religious tolerance and acceptance. Even food habits are what begin at home. They must be taught to respect each morsel given to them, as after al your hard work has gone into feeding them. They must respect the value of money.

As a parents you are responsible for molding a citizen of tomorrow. So even respect towards society and one’s country is taught at home and not else where. A child’s life begins at home and ends at home each day, and so what he becomes depends on what his parents make him.

Category authored by Karishma Bajaj. Copyright indianchild.com

Children Virtues index

Teaching your child about honesty

Teaching your child trust

Teaching your child love

Teaching a child generosity

Teaching to respect elders

Other important values

related resources : Character Education Raising good children

HOME

Prayers and Religious Upbringing for Children

India is a country which has always had a rich tradition as far as religion and spirituality goes. In fact as it is the home to so many different faiths, there have been so many saints and sages who have propagated their individual spirits. It is vital then that there is a positive spiritual and religious factor in the lives of children. If they have a religious upbringing while still young, it is going to be very easy for them tohave good values and principles to support them and it will also help them to take a lot of hard decisions.

 

When we look back at our cultural heritage, we find that even the children of kings were educated in ashrams. They lived in the forest and sought guidance from the sages who taught them various arts. Children grew up with religion and spirituality steeped in them. This however is not possible today, but what can be done is we can allow children to grow along the path of prayer and religion without compromising anything.

 

This helps to strengthen bonds and  helps the child to deal with situations like failure or the loss of a beloved one. This is because prayer is a process which allows the child to be open and seek refuge in times of crisis.
When the child is young and open minded, it is best to impress upon it the power of prayer. When the child learns the real of meaning of prayer it learns to communicate in the language of the heart and that helps it immensely in the days to come.

 

A religious upbringing is good for the child for it guards to a certain extent against the imbibing of vices & imbibes good sanskars . It helps to keep temptation at bay and offers a springboard which cushions against the rude shocks of life.

Regular Prayers and a religious upbringing together contribute towards a good mental lifestyle. ~ Data 2007.  :: Authored by M. Swami.

 

Featured topics on Parenting > Virtues & Children > India parenting and valuesdevelop good characterreligious upbringingteaching good behaviour

Helping children develop good manners involves being thoughtful and considerate parents, Manners cannot be taught in the same way as history or geography can-(learning by rote). It is something that is built up over a period of time by feeding the children in small manageable doses. As the child passes through the various stages of growth, his understanding and empathy also increases. However, school going children have it really rough.

They have to sort out for themselves the difference between enthusiasm, exuberance and rudeness. In such a situation teaching children manners is very difficult. Be patient and your patience will pay off.

Of course in early childhood, children learn from their parents and we have to be good role models. When we act and do things in the same way that we expect them to act it becomes a little easier. Being polite should come naturally to them and this will happen only when they see their parents being polite to others. The rules should be the same for everybody immaterial of whether it is a child or a parent. A parent cannot demand a prerogative that he can be impolite to others just because he is older and expect the child to behave politely. Learn to acknowledge a kind gesture and make sure the child notices this.

Praise good behavior but never condemn bad behavior. Let the child realize for itself that it has not behaved properly. This can be brought home in many ways. While answering the telephone, the child must be taught to speak slowly and politely, take a message correctly and deliver it.

While dining along with others, it must be taught to behave well. This of course requires a lot of spadework to be done by you.

Empathy, kindness and consideration should be taught right from childhood.    Ensure that you do not poke fun or ridicule anyone  in the presence of the child and only laugh at jokes which are wholesome. Children should be encouraged not to tease other children even if he is teased himself. This is often very difficult but with a little patience you can get the message across.

Controlling anger and other negative emotions is very important. Children often scream and throw tantrums when they are angry or they hit out at others. Such situations call for immense patience from the parent , so instead of punishing the child, try to teach it to handle anger. Teach it to count till ten or make it look at itself in the mirror when angry and compare it with the image when it smiles.  This does not mean that a child can never give vent to its feelings, it must be done properly. It is all right for a child to say  that he or she does not want to do a thing, but rephrasing  of bald statements is  very important.
It always pays to be honest and this quality should be encouraged. Allow the child to see for itself how you are honest in small things—like returning excess change or returning what was unintentionally given. You will be surprised that with this as a base, the child develops a strong sense of honesty and cannot lie even if it wanted to. Children are like tender trees and can be made to grow up in the way that you want them to. All it requires is a lot of patience and bringing yourself down to the level of the child in order to see things from its perspective. The parents have to learn to accept mistakes and try to correct them as unobtrusively as possible.
Parents need to understand that just helping children to develop good manners is not something, which is instantaneously produced. It is hard work for the child who often tends to forget rules and it is harder work for the parents who have to see that rules are constantly enforced so that they become a habit. In spite of doing all this, things may not work out the way you want them to, merely because the child is a only a child.

Never criticize the child in public in front of others for nothing can be more demeaning. help the child to envisage what the feelings of the other person is and more often than not it will refrain from doing what it originally intended to do. Allow the children to work things out for themselves and only intervene when absolutely necessary. Teach them to share what they have because by doing so they build an edifice which has no room for selfishness. This is a lesson they will use throughout their lives.

Countering bad influences is as important as doing things right. In a world in which the child is going to be exposed to good and bad, it cannot be protected from everything. Help it to decipher right from wrong and allow it to use its judgment. You will be amazed at the strength of character it displays.
Parents while limiting the amount of television the children watch can use characters in the television as a learning experience. They also need to know that compromise and tolerance are two things that must be learnt and the sooner they learn , the better for them. All said and done , parents must monitor their own behavior. As the early years in a child’s life are developmental, the correct message must be sent. This becomes deeply embedded and forms the basis for children developing good manners.

Honesty is the virtue of being honest. And what is bring honest? Not being false; being truthful; bring frank and sincere. And honesty is one of the ingredients of a good human being. It is true that not anyone as a matter of fact can be hundred percent honest through their lifetime. There are times when harmless white lies need to be spoken to protect oneself and others. But harmful dishonesty could cause a lot of trouble.

Let us see firstly, why does one need to tell a lie at all. A person usually lies due to fear. The fear of telling the truth as that could get them into trouble. For instance, a child breaks a glass and his mother is very strict. When asked who broke it, the child would deny having broken it because he fears being shouted at or beaten. But, if the mother is understanding and not hot-tempered, the same child would fearlessly admit to his mistake.

The habit of lying begins with such small incidents and progresses into the more serious lies spoken. The more the child fears his parents, the more the lies he would continue to speak at every stage, only because he fears admitting what he has done wrong. And like each drop makes the ocean, each mistake amounts to the larger mistakes, till there maybe no turning back.

To be able to inculcate in your child the virtue of honesty in the first place you have to be more patient and understanding with your child. After all it is only human to err. If your child has made a certain mistake for the first or second time then patiently explain to them the wrong of it. However, if it is done the third time then strictly put across your viewpoint. In this way your child will consider you their best friend and confide in you no matter what it maybe. Remember respect and honesty from them does not come out of enforcing your authority as a parent, but your patience and understanding as a parent.

Category authored by Karishma Bajaj. Copyright indianchild.com

Children Virtues index

Teaching your child about honesty

Teaching your child trust

Teaching your child love

Teaching a child generosity

Teaching to respect elders

Other important values

related resources : Character Education Raising good children

As you sow, so shall you reap. To gain respect from your children first you must respect your own elders in front of them. Not only that you have to respect each other too. We tend to take for granted that respecting each other is about enslaving each other. WE consider that respect is what we give to an authority figure, because we need to be in their good books. However, that is not respect, but disrespect since it is not something genuine.

Respect towards elders or any person, as a matter of fact is about honoring or holding in esteem an individual. It implies regarding an individual as a person of value and virtue. We all expect respect from others. But then do we actually respect others? For instance, because we are adults we tend to take our parents for granted. We tend to get irritated by every suggestion they make simply because we think that we can never be wrong. We then admonish them or ignore them. We do not realize that our children copy or rather mimic us. They then treat us the same way.

Apart from this even the way we address the servants, is the way our children will address them too. While your servant is hired by you and you have every right to give them orders the way you want, realize that they are still elders for your children. When you ill-treat or talk with disrespect to your servant, your child does the same thing.

It is vital to teach your child how to respect each individual, in order for him or her to command his or her own respect. And it all begins with you as a parent. Another aspect we overlook is also the way we talk about people in front of our children. For instance, when we bad-mouth somebody in front of our children, they overhear our conversation, disrespect that person and put us into an embarrassing situation. So it is very vital that we watch our own actions and words in the presence of our children, otherwise it will spell trouble not only for us, but also for them, as there would be nothing beyond disrespect in the dictionary of upbringing.

Teaching Children Virtues & Values

Children are the pillars of our tomorrow is a statement that is repeated time and again. And it is an axiom; they are our pillars of the coming time. But then do we nurture them into becoming healthy human beings?
By healthy human beings here is not meant the physical well being, but the good human being. And how do you define a good human being? One with virtues and values that keeps them in the realm of working towards the benefit of humanity.

How can children imbibe within themselves the virtues and values? Well, this is the primary responsibility of parents and other immediate family members, followed by school authorities. The values and virtues of an individual is sown in their childhood and nurtured as they grow up. After all nobody is born a criminal, it is what they become as result of what they gain from their surroundings.

Depending on the way we bring up our children, we decide our own future. It is vital that in the formative years we give them quality time and attention. We teach them to discriminate between the good, bad and the ugly. WE have to inculcate into them positive emotions like love and compassion and teach them actions of kindness and generosity. At the same time we have to help them do way with the negatives of hatred, anger, jealousy, selfishness, etc.

Your child is like a plant. You sow the seeds and also reap the benefits of its growth and development. First and foremost you as a parent have to realize your responsibility in nurturing a child to growing into a good human being. And it is just not upto anyone of the parents, but both together to inculcate the values and virtues into your child.

Children Virtues index

Teaching your child about honesty

Teaching your child trust

Teaching your child love

Teaching a child generosity

Teaching to respect elders

Other important values