CHILD DISCIPLINE GUIDELINES : GUIDELINES FOR INCULCATING DISCIPLINE IN CHILDREN

1.    Crystal Clear Expectations

Make sure that the child has a clear idea of WHAT he is expected to do. Misunderstandings arise when the child is confused over what is expected of him . the child is also confused when both scolding & approval are administered at the same time .

2.    Timed expectations 

Make sure he knows / has a clear idea of WHEN he is expected to do the things required of him. Young children do not have a clear idea of time , but they do learn early the sequence of events

3.    The execution skill

Make sure the child has a clear idea of HOW to do what he is expected to do . Teaching children how is very important . we may often tell the children to be polite but unless he is enlightened about what specifically being polite means he cannot be polite . talk about what it means to be polite e.g. not shouting from one end of the room to the other , not throwing toys around , not snatching , etc. its amazing how much a little effort can teach children efficiently ‘how’ but unless they are taught carefully completely & in detail , full cooperation will be impossible because they simply cannot do things which they do not understand fully .

4.    Reasoning

Make sure that the child has a clear idea of WHY he is expected to do certain things.

Giving a good honest reason for everything the adult  expects the child to do will help discipline Such knowledge will reduce rules & regulations which might make the child rebellious .

5.    Automated habits

Get habits established for automatic co-operation .In order to establish desirable habits it is necessary to do the same thing over & over again in the same way & with the same sequence

6.    Mental digestion time

Give the child enough time for mental digestion. The child needs time to digest & absorb new ideas & suggestions . A child may be quiet ready to cooperate after a time lapse while immediate conformation is difficult & may not even be possible . when the time comes for doing things a little time lapse always helps . During the time lapse counting to ten is a good technique for young children . Simply telling stop may not be so effective as allowing an extra minute or two. When there is a need to resort to punishment about a certain persistent wrong habit of behavior it will help him to cooperate if a warning is given . 

7.    lavish praise & cooperation

Praise lavishly repeatedly & sincerely whenever it can be done . Praise every improvement . the effects of praise are dramatic instead of nagging at the children who are perpetually messy . praise them everytime they are neat .

8.    Nobler motives

Appeal to the child’s nobler motives. Expect the children to do the right things . some times warnings can give a child the notion that he is expected to do wrong . do not start fighting now for heavens sake - this may give the child the idea he is expected to fight !

9.    The nag tag

Do not nag argue threaten or verbally attack the child’s personality . Nagging , threatening , arguing arouses resentment & negate cooperation in the long run. Children can be exasperating at times being slow , inefficient , forgetful , irritating & so on . under such circumstances it is easy to fall into the habit of nagging , arguing & condemning .  it will not only bring down their level of confidence but will not get you too far . have confidence in his abilities rather than demeaning him.

10 . Substitute orders

Ask questions rather than giving orders. asking questions &  setting limits help to bring in discipline . when children are involved in the discussion of  working out rules together discipline is more effective

11.    Before after praise syndrome

praise the child before & after each correction. When the child is to be corrected after a mistake start & end with praise . Sandwich corrections between praises.

12.    The natural touch

Make things natural & easy  . Making things natural will felicitate learning & achievement . come on now it will not take you too long to finish this task .

13 . Sympathy miracle

Express sympathy for the child’s actions . Expressing sympathy with the child’s point of view will make him more willing to oblige & comply with the adults point of view.

14.Substitution v/s denial .

Substitute rather than deny

Children have to learn sometimes that there are some irrevocable & fundamental no signs in life . but the blow of the no can be minimized by suggesting alternatives . at the same time the child will be learning a habit that will help him throughout life. A person who can think of different ways of satisfying the same desire has an easier time in getting used to the disappointments of no’s in life. I am sorry you cannot throw books around here is a ball or a bean bag which can be thrown & played with. Suggest two alternatives sometimes since choosing between two alternatives is a complex & absorbing problem & in that effort the young he often pushes away the original idea out of his mind .

15.True confession

Confess your mistake. Confessing your mistake will help get the child get over his bad feelings & smoothen the road for future discipline & cooperation .ability to admit the wrong done is a sign of strength & not weakness. Not only will the child love & respect the adult but he will also learn to admit his own mistakes .   

16.cooperation key .

Remember cooperation is a two way process .The technique of discipline will work only if the child does not get the feeling that it is a one way road . Cooperation is based on the ‘ you help me & I’ll help you & we work together spirit ’

CHILD DISCIPLINE GUIDELINES : copyright@ Sheetal Kapoor - Freshbuds, Mumbai