AUDI

Always Unsafe Designs Implemented

BMW

Big Money Works
Bought My Wife
Brutal Money Waster
Bimbette Motor Weapon
Break My Window

BUICK

Big Ugly Indestructible Car Killer

CHEVROLET

Can Hear Every Valve Rap On Long Extended Trips
Cheap, Hardly Efficient, Virtually Runs On Luck Every Time
Cheap Heap, Every Valve Rattles, Oil Leaks Every Time
Condition Hopeless, Entire Vehicle Relies On Leftover Engine Technology

DODGE

Drips Oil, Drops Grease Everywhere
Dem Old Dudes Go Everywhere
Dead or Dying Gas Eater
Dear Old Dad's Geriatric Express

FIAT

Failure in Italian Automotive Technology
Fix It All the Time
Fix it again, Tony!

FORD

First On Recall Day
First On Race Day
First On Rust and Deterioration
Fix Or Repair Daily
Found On Road, Dead
Fault Of R & D
Fast Only Rolling Downhill
Features O.J. and Ron's DNA
Found On Russian Dump

GM

General Maintenance
Great Mistake

GMC

Garage Man's Companion
Got A Mechanic Coming?

HONDA

Had One Never Did Again

HYUNDAI

Hope You Understand Nothing's Drivable And Inexpensive...

MAZDA

Most Always Zipping Dangerously Along

OLDSMOBILE

Old Ladies Driving Slowly Make Others Behind Infuriatingly Late Everywhere
Overpriced, Leisurely Driven Sedan Made Of Buick's Irregular Leftover Equipment

PINTO

Put in new transmission often

PONTIAC

Poor old Neanderthal thinks its a Cadillac

SAAB

Send Another Automobile Back
Swedish Automobiles Always Breakdown
Sorry Assed Auto Builders

TOYOTA

Too Often Yankees Overprice This Auto

VOLVO

Very Odd Looking Vehicular Object
Vehicles Of Low Velocity Owners

VW

Virtually Worthless