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The word “grandparents” conjures up a unique world where the dual role of
parenting is manifest. Grandparents act as shock absorbers, which cushion the
aftershocks and they also act as bouncing boards, which help to ricochet a range
of emotions. The different roles they play only serve to emphasize their vital
link in the family. With a wealth of old world experience behind them, and
having the unique ability of being able to metamorphose from advisers
and listeners to mediators and friends, they can offer support and
stability. |
The underlying sense of
responsibility that goes with this is tremendous. The role
of grandparents in children’s lives is varied. It is imperial at times, muted at
others and goes underground whenever required but all the time solid and
absolutely dependable. They are constantly performing artistes who do the
balancing act all the time between their adult children and their grandchildren.
Grandparents often bridge the gap between parents and their children. Rebellious
independent children who are trying to find their feet are almost always at
loggerheads with their parents. The role of the grandparents can be very
important provided they act as impartial judges and are able to convey this
feeling to both parties. Grandchildren prefer to listen to the grandparents
rather than the parents with whom they are unfortunately involved in everyday
tussles. The sense of objectivity and the absence of bias lend a sense of
credibility to their roles as mediators. Honestly done, this goes a long way in
lulling both the parties into a sense of arbitration. Gulfs widen, but at the
same time bridges are also built.
One important thing, which seems to be missing in the lives of children today,
is the sense of family, values, religious beliefs and principles. This is where
the grandparents step in. Inculcating beliefs and values is not as easy as it
was 50-60 years ago. No questions were asked and there was an implicit sense of
belief. With changing times and changing outlooks, children have started to
question the authenticity of everything. They do not believe until they are
convinced,. Globalization has eroded the sense of belonging and identity with
their roots, and science and technology has them questioning everything. The
parents who are already fighting constantly with time are perhaps not in a
position to inculcate these values. Children are very demanding, and
grandparents without appearing to be pushy have all the time and experience to
deal with tantrums. They appease, soothe, and impart values with tremendous
ease.
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Our
Indian culture is rich and varied, but how many children realize its value?
Grandparents can make them appreciate the values of tradition and provide a
platform for moral and religious values. Of course, some of the Indian customs
may seem redundant today, but there are some things that have eternal value.
Respect for parents, and the sense of loyalty towards them is something that is
so unique in Indian heritage. This can be handed down at least in some measure
to
the children. |
The grandparents being on
the periphery and still being central can perform this role to perfection.
The ability to Love, shower affection, and willingness to help and comfort their
grand children has made grandparents indispensable. There can be no gainsaying
the fact that their role is as important as the role of parents. Their timeless
experience, their patience and their ability to create a non-compulsive learning
environment is something that even parents have learnt to rely on. This means
that the role of grandparents in children upbringing can never really be
relegated to the background. ~ Author M. Hemdev
Related resource :
Mahatma Gandhi & Good parenting advice
Senior Citizens in India
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