Two Sets Of Children

Two Sets Of Children

• Don't believe everything you saw on 'The Brady Bunch'. Life is seldom so simple and blending a family presents many things to think about, for adults and children.
• Children living in a blended family may be sad at the loss of their old family and the new parent will probably have different ideas about how children should behave and what families do. The step parent and step siblings will want to share things that were previously theirs alone. Things won't be 'fair' all of the time.
• Many issues will arise, often very basic, which include a decision on what to call the new parent and the members of the step parent's family.
• It can be hard for children to keep a relationship with the parent who doesn't live with them any more. They may have trouble understanding the new arrangements and need lots of positive reinforcement that both their parents care for them. Consistency is also very important at this stage.
• You can help by:
  • making sure all the children have a place and a bed of their own
  • trying to make all children, including those living with the absent parent, feel it is their home too
  • not expecting step siblings to automatically like each other
  • letting the children find their own relationships
  • treating all children fairly and in the same way.
• It is also important to have a working relationship between former partners. Any negotiating should be done AWAY from the child and they should not be used as weapons. If conflicts arise, find calm ways to resolve them. Ask for help if you need to. Keep scheduled visits, be on time and have the children ready with all they need for the visit.

Parenting tips & parenting articles copyright & courtesy
Department for Community Devlp, Australia.

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