Parents Saying What We Mean To Children

Parents Saying What We Mean To Children

• Sometimes you say one thing and mean something else. You might say 'I'm fine' when you're unhappy. It may seem unimportant but it can be confusing for you and particularly for others when you don't say what you mean.
• Be positive. Use words which tell people what you want them to do rather than what you don't want, eg say 'Stay on the footpath' rather than 'Don't go on the street'.
• A smile, hug, gentle squeeze or a touch on the elbow can send a positive message which is clearer and stronger than the words you use. But it won't help people understand you if the words you use don't match the things you do.
• You may not say what you mean because you feel bad about yourself. Keeping things bottled up inside often makes them come out in negative ways.
• When you have negative feelings which will probably erupt in anger it can help to:
  • STOP - breathe in and out slowly a few times
  • THINK - what message do we want to give
  • SAY - how we feel with honesty and respect for your audience and for yourself.

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Department for Community Devlp, Australia.

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