Funny Proverbs

Man who run behind car get exhausted.
He who smiles in a crisis has found someone to blame.
I never forget a face, but in your case I’ll be glad to make an exception.
I never made a mistake in my life; at least, never one that I couldn’t explain away afterwards.
If you pay peanuts, you get monkeys.
The hand that turneth the knob, opens the door..
Money isn’t everything, but it sure keeps the kids in touch.
There are two kinds of people in life: people who like their jobs, and people who don’t work here anymore.
Love is temporary insanity curable by marriage
A conclusion is simply the place where someone got tired of thinking.
If your parents never had children, chances are you won’t either.
Man who drive like hell, bound to get there.
We the willing, following the unknowing are doing the impossible. We have done so much for so long with so little that we are now able to do anything with nothing.
Half of the people in the world are below average.
To study a subject best, understand it thoroughly before you start.
When in danger or in doubt, run in circles, scream and shout!
Build a man a fire, and he’ll be warm for a day. Set a man on fire, and he’ll be warm for the rest of his life.
The greatest mistake you can make in life is to be continually fearing you will make one.
It is easier to fight for principles than to live up to them.
A verbal contract isn’t worth the paper it’s written on
Not a shred of evidence exists in favor of the idea that life is serious.
I can resist everything except temptation.
It’s a great satisfaction knowing that for a brief point in time you made a difference.
The fellow who never makes a mistake takes his orders from one who does.
A bird in the hand is safer than one overhead.
Free speech carries with it some freedom to listen.
If you are willing to admit faults, you have one less fault to admit.
Never insult an alligator until after you have crossed the river.
There are three faithful friends an old wife, an old dog, and ready money.
Men marry women with the hope they will never change. Women marry men with the hope they will change. Invariably they are both disappointed.
The trouble with being punctual is that nobody’s there to appreciate it.
Technology is a way of organizing the universe so that man doesn’t have to experience it.
Man who live in glass house should change clothes in basement.
Parents can tell but never teach, unless they practice what they preach.
Experience is that marvelous thing that enables you to recognize a mistake when you make it again.
You cannot get to the top by sitting on your bottom.
Man who sneezes without hanky takes matters into his own hands.