SCHOOL JOKES.

PAGE 2

 

   TEACHER : Where is the English Channel ?
Pupil   : I don't know, my TV doesn't pick it up
   
   Pupil   : My teacher was mad with me because I didn't know where the Rockies were.
A friend : Well next time remember where you put things !
   
   TEACHER : Why does the statue of liberty stand at New York harbour ?
Pupil   : Because it can't sit down !
   
   TEACHER :: Is Lapland heavily populated ?
Class   : No, there are not many Lapps to the mile !
TEACHER :Name an animal that lives in Lapland ?
Pupil   : A reindeer
TEACHER : Good, now name another.
Pupil   : Another reindeer !
   
   TEACHER  : Can you tell me where elephants are found ?
Pupil   : We don't have to find elephants, they're so big, they don't get lost !
   
   TEACHER : What fur do we get from a tiger ?
Pupil   : As fur as possible !
   
   TEACHER : I got a 35 in maths and 25 in english, but I knocked them cold in geography
Pupil   :I got zero !
   
   TEACHER : What birds are found in Portugal ?
Pupil   :Portu-geese !
   
   TEACHER :Name three famous poles ?
Pupil   : North, south and tad

   TEACHER : Why is the Mississippi such an unusual river ?
   Pupil   : Because it has four eyes and can't see !

   TEACHER : What are the Great Plains ?
  Pupil   : 747, Concorde and F-16 !

 
   TEACHER : I told you to stand at the end of the line ?
Pupil   : I tried, but there was someone already there !
   
   TEACHER : If I bought a hundred current buns for a dollar, what would each bun be ?
Pupil   : Stale !
   
   TEACHER : I said to draw a cow eating some grass but you've only drawn the cow ?
Pupil   :Yes, the cow ate all the grass !
   
   TEACHER : What is can't short for ?
Pupil   : Cannot miss
TEACHER :and what is don't short for
Pupil   :Doughnut !
   
   TEACHER  : Can anyone tell me what the Dog Star is ?
Pupil   : Lassie !
   
   TEACHER : In 1940, what were the Poles doing in Russia ?
Pupil   : Holding up the telegraph lines !
   
   TEACHER : Why are you standing on your head ?
Pupil   :I'm just turning over things in my mind, sir !
   
   TEACHER :"It's clear" said the teacher, "That you haven't studied your geography. What's your excuse ?"

Pupil : "Well, my dad says the world is changing every day . So I decided to wait until it settles down !"

   
   TEACHER : What can you tell me about the Dead Sea?
Pupil   : Dead ?, I didn't even know he was sick ! What are the small rivers that run into the Nile ? The juve-niles !

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