SILLLY RIDDLES AND JOKES      Page 5

 

 

Why did the child study in the aeroplane ?
He wanted a higher education !

 

Why was the broom late ?
It over swept !

 

Do you know the time ?
No, we haven't met yet !

 

What kind of hair do oceans have ?
Wavy !

 

What runs but never walks ?
Water !

 

How do you make milk shake ?
Give it a good scare !

 

Whats red and flies and wobbles at the same time ?
A jelly copter !

 

Waiter, this soup tastes funny ?
Then why aren't you laughing !

 

Waiter, what's this fly doing in my soup ?
It looks like it's learning to swim sir

 

Waiter, there is a small slug in this lettuce
I'm sorry sir, would you like me to get you a bigger one ?

 

Waiter, do you have frogs legs ?
No sir, I've always walked like this.

 

Waiter, there's a caterpillar on my salad
Don't worry sir, there is no extra charge.

 

Waiter, there is a fly in my soup ?
Don't worry sir that spider on your bread will soon get him !

 

Waiter, this coffee is terrible, it tastes like earth !
Yes sir, it was ground yesterday !

 

Waiter, bring me something to eat and make it snappy
How about a crocodile sandwich sir !

 

Waiter, is there soup on the menu ?
No, madam I wiped it off !

 

Waiter, there is a spider on my plate, send me the manager !
That's no good, he's scared of them too !

 

Waiter, do you serve snails !
Sit down, sir, we serve anyone !

 

Waiter, do you have frogs legs !
Yes sir
Well hop off into the kitchen and bring my meal then please !

 

Waiter, are there snails on the menu !
Yes sir, they must have escaped from the kitchen !

 

Waiter, there is a beetle in my soup !
Sorry sir, we're out of flies today !

 

Waiter, there is a mosquito in my soup !
Don't worry sir, they don't eat much !

 

Waiter, there is a dead fly in my soup !
Yes sir, it's the heat that kills them !

 

Waiter, there is a fly in the butter !
Yes sir, it's a butterfly!

 

Waiter, there is fly in my soup !
Don't worry I'll call the animal sanctuary !

 

Waiter, there is a bee in my alphabet soup !
Yes sir, and I'm sure there is an A, C and all the other letters too !

 

Waiter, there are two flies in my soup !
That's alright sir, have the extra one on me !

 

Waiter, what is this spider doing in my soup !
Drowning by the look of it sir !

 

Waiter, there is a dead fly in my soup !
Oh no, who will look after his family !

 

Waiter, what is this cockroach doing on my ice cream sundae ?
Skiing sir !

 

Waiter, there is fly in my soup !
Don't worry madam, go ahead and eat it, there are plenty more !

 

Waiter, there is a dead fly swimming in my soup !
Don't be silly, dead flies can't swim !

 

Waiter, there are two flies in my soup !
That's alright sir, have the extra one on me !

 

Waiter, there is a fly in my bean soup !
Don't worry sir I'll fish him out and exchange it for a bean !

 

Waiter, there is a slug in my salad !
Shhh, or everyone will want one !

 

Waiter, there is a dead fly in my soup !
No its not, it's a piece of dirt that looks like one !

 

Waiter, there is a frog in my soup !
Don't worry sir there isn't enough there to drown him !

 

Waiter, why is there a fly in my ice cream ?
Perhaps he likes winter sports !

 

Waiter, can you get rid of this fly in my starter !
I can't do that sir, he's not had his main course yet !

 

Waiter, what is this bug doing on my wives shoulder!
I don't know - friendly thing isn't he !

 

Waiter, there is a fly in my soup !
Just you wait until you see the main course !

 

Doctor, Doctor I feel like a pair of curtains
Well pull yourself together then

 

Doctor, Doctor, everyone keeps ignoring me.
Next please!

 

Doctor, Doctor I keep thinking there is two of me
One at a time please

                      

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