Silly Riddles, Stupid Riddle Jokes – Page 2

Why are giraffes necks so long?

So it will reach it’s head

Why did the chicken cross the playground?

To get to the other slide!

What goes around the yard, but stays in the corner ?

A Stamp !!

What is the laziest mountain in the world?

Mount Ever – rest !!

What is always slow to come, but never actually happens?

Tomorrow

Why does a traffic light turn red?

You would too if you had to change in front of so many people !!!

Why did the bald man put rabbits on his head ?

Someone said that from a distance they looked like hairs !!!!

What did the policeman say to his tummy ?

You’re under ‘a Vest’ !!!!!!!!!!

Why do witches fly around on broomsticks?

Because vacuum cleaners don’t have long enough cords!!

Why was Cinderella kicked off the cricket team?

She always ran away from the ball !!

There were three guys they don’t know anything about english. One of the guys went to a restarant to learn how to say” meemeemeemeemeemee” The other guy went to another restarant to learn how to say” A fork and a knife”. The last guy went to a candy store to learn how to say “I love that food”. One day there was a dead man the three guys were there the cop said who killed him the first guy said meemeemeemee the cop asked with what the second guy said a fork and a knife. the cop said you guys are going to jail the last guy said I love that food.

Ten Green HandGrenades hanging on the wall,
Ten Green HandGrenades hanging on the wall,
and if one Green HandGrenade should accidently fall,There’ll be no green Handgrenades and no brick wall !!!

Brother : Wow sis, you’re pretty dirty!
Sister: I’m even prettier when I’m clean !!

Sanjay : What is the height of stupidity?
Vijay : I don’t know, how tall are you ?

Teacher : If you had 16 sweets, and Sanjay asked you for 10, how many would you have left ?
Vijay : Sixteen !!

Meeta: Why are you so upset?
Lata: My teacher just yelled at me for something I didn’t do !
Meeta: What ?
Lata: My Homework…

Customer: Waiter ! Waiter ! Theres a fly in my soup !!
Waiter: Don’t worry Sir, the spider in your salad will get it !!

“There were 3 strings and they wanted to go to a restaraunt for supper. The first string went in and the waiter looked at him and said “Are you a string?” and the string said “yes” so the waiter said “I’m sorry. We don’t serve strings.” The second string came in and the waiter looked at him and said “Are you a string?” and the string said “yes” so the waiter said “I’m sorry. We don’t serve strings.” Then the third string tied himself in a knot and frayed the ends. He walked into the restaraunt and the waiter looked him up and down and said “Are you a string?” and the string said “No I’m a frayed knot (afaid not).”

What do you call a witch made of sand?

A sandwitch

What goes TICK TOC , WOOF , TIC TOCK , WOOF?

A watch dog!

Teacher: Sam, your composition on “My Dog” is exactly same as your brother’s. Did you copy his?

Sam: No, teacher, it’s the same dog!

Teacher: How come you do not comb your hair?

Sam: No comb, sir.

Teacher: Use your dad’s then.

Sam: No hair, sir.

Teacher: What’s the chemical formula for water?

Sam: “HIJKLMNO”.

Teacher: What?!

Sam: Yesterday you said it’s H to O!

Teacher: If I have 7 oranges in one hand and 8 on the other, what would I have?

Class: Big Hands!!!!!!

In Sam’s house :

Father: Your teacher says she finds it’s impossible to teach you anything!

Sam: That’s why I say she’s no good!

Father: Sam, how can you call your aunt stupid? Go and say sorry to her.

Sam: (to the aunt) Aunt, I’m sorry you’re stupid.

Sam: Mom, teacher was asking me today if I’ve any brothers or sisters who will be coming to school.

Mom: That’s nice of her to take such an interest, dear.

So what did she say when you told her you’re the only child, my dear?

Sam: She just said … ‘Thanks goodness!’

Sam: Dad, can you write in the dark?

Dad: I think so, what do you want me to write?

Sam: Your name on my report card.

Doctor: I’ve “bad news” and “very bad news” for you.

Patient: Well, might be better give me the bad news first.

Doctor: The lab called with your test results.

They said you’ve 24 hours to live.

Patient: What?! 24 hours! That’s terrible!

What could be even worse then? Tell me the very bad news.

Doctor: I’ve been trying to reach you sinceĀ  yesterday.